What's your Glasto toilet score?
- Neil Mckeown
- Jun 23
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 24
There’s Glasto ready, and there’s Glasto toilet ready
The festival loos are the stuff of legend, and most people can grin and bear it. But for others it can be a huge concern - triggering anxiety, stress, or even fear
Anyone heading to Worthy Farm can allay their worries by taking a quick test, which takes a minute to complete - a lot quicker than the queues for the dreaded “long drops”.
Once the answers are in, the calculator works out how suited the user is to the farm’s (in)famous facilities.
This short test will help you to see if you'll struggle with the Glastonbury toilet experience.
Around one in seven people feel anxious using public toilets, and digestive issues are very common. So try not to worry, you're definitely not alone.
Dr Carolyne Keenan, registered Psychologist, said: “It’s more common than people might think to struggle with using public toilets. For some, the experience at a festival such as Glastonbury - with long queues, limited privacy, and less-than-ideal hygiene - can feel genuinely overwhelming.
“From a psychological perspective, this difficulty often links to a few core factors:
Fear of contamination: We’re wired to avoid environments that trigger the brain’s disgust response and could pose a risk to our health.
"Loss of control and Privacy: The toilet is, for most of us, a highly private space. When you add queues, noise, and flimsy walls, people can experience a strong sense of vulnerability.
"Learned associations: Sometimes, people develop anxieties around toilets following a negative experience, for example, becoming ill in public or being teased during childhood."
To manage this at festivals:
Carolyne added: "Plan ahead: Try to identify quieter times to use the toilets, perhaps early in the morning. Some festivals offer accessible or upgraded toilet options that may feel less stressful.
"Use grounding techniques: Practising mindfulness or grounding (such as 5-4-3-2-1 sensory techniques) before and during the experience can help regulate anxiety.
"Challenge unhelpful beliefs: Anxiety often feeds on exaggerated thoughts, such as ’I won’t be able to cope’, which are rarely accurate.
"Avoid excessive control: Taking Imodium pre-emptively might feel like a solution, but relying on it too often can create a cycle of avoidance, and actually cause discomfort."
Lav facts
The British Toilet Association reckons there are 3,300 public toilets in England. An Audit Commission estimate in 2000 had the figure as just over 6,000.
A recent study in the US found that just under half (44%) of respondents feel anxious if they have to use a toilet that isn’t their own. And the same number plan travel routes that have access to toilets.
The same study found one in six people (17%) have quit a job because of the state of the toilets. And one in four (26%) avoided a social occasion because of concerns about toilet access.
A 2024 study of paruresis (shy bladder syndrome) found 25.8% of people suffered “mildly”, with 14.9% reporting severe problems. Up to 4 million people in the UK are thought to suffer from the condition enough to affect their lives.
One trip to the toilet can produce around three litres of methane – just over five pints.
Local council spending on public toilets has dropped 50% in 10 years (2019 figures).
There are over 2,000 “long drops” at Glastonbury, as well as 1,300 compost toilets. There are also some portable toilets and accessible toilets.
There are 700m of male urinals around the site, as well as seven women’s urinals, where WaterAid volunteers can help those who’ve never tried them before.
Glastonbury veterans’ tips:
“The compost toilets at 6am (post the morning clean) will be your optimum poo. Party on.”
“For the long drops - use the toilets in the middle they are always way cleaner!”
“Silver Hayes after 9pm are a disaster zone.”
"Compost toilets are no worse than the worst nightclub toilet you've used."
“Rubbing vix vapour rub under the nose just before using helps with the smell.”
“WaterAid toilets behind the pyramid stage are some of the best and kept super clean.”
“I swear on the last day people start to not care and sh$t all over the place!”
Methodology: First-person interview with Dr Carolyne Keenan, coding for test app done in-house.
Glastonbury veterans’ tips from Reddit.com
All other data from:
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